Author Archives: ml0812

About ml0812

Healthcare consultant; passionate about mental health,cancer,advocacy & people who live to make a difference. An American living in Canada.

30 days

At some point on my long journey back to sanity I came to understand that the endless loop of obsessive worry and fear thoughts winding through my brain would never alter the fact that my daughter has a mental illness … Continue reading

Posted in addiction, bipolar, Mental health, parenting, pets, recovery, Self Esteem | Tagged , , , , , , , , | 5 Comments

Seven months and $50,000+

After years of seeking help and weeks of searching unsuccessfully for a treatment facility for mental health and addictions in Ontario (wait lists, one so long that they wouldn’t take any new names), we desperately decided to send our 23 … Continue reading

Posted in addiction, bipolar, intellectual disability, Mental health, parenting, recovery | Tagged , , , | 3 Comments

Ten years

My 23 year old daughter was “officially” diagnosed with Bipolar II disorder about 6 months ago, that is to say that yet another psychiatrist completed an assessment and confirmed what I have known, with certainty, for the last ten years. … Continue reading

Posted in Anxiety, bipolar, Mental health, parenting | Tagged , , , , | 6 Comments

Saying Goodbye to Samantha

We made the difficult decision to have Samantha, our 10 year old chocolate lab put down this week; we knew we were on borrowed time when, in November, she had to have  surgery to remove a large mast cell tumor … Continue reading

Posted in Uncategorized | Tagged , , , , | 9 Comments

There is always hope

I am definitely struggling.  I can feel the seductive pull of depression, waiting for me, just around the corner. It has been almost 2 years, to the day, that I was hospitalized for Major Depression with psychotic episodes.  Two years, … Continue reading

Posted in Major Depression, Mindfulness | Tagged , , | 1 Comment

The World Has Gone Mad

I’m definitely superstitious.  When I was a child (and even into adulthood) I was, without a doubt, convinced that if I did not say my prayers, and include virtually all of my loved ones AND “all the people in the … Continue reading

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Unwanted thoughts

Unwanted thoughts keep popping into my head; need to keep myself distracted so as not to get caught up in the never-ending vortex of worry and guilt.   No matter what has taken place in the past, I am and always … Continue reading

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Acceptance

Approaching the one year anniversary of my “descent into hell”; and where am I today?  I am pleased to say that I am healthy and, for the most part, happy.   I’ve learned enough to mostly manage (live with) my troublesome … Continue reading

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Could I be Manic

What is wrong with me?  Honestly, sometimes I feel as though I’m incapable of not spending money.  I think I may have a serious problem with “impulse control” when it comes to purchasing.  Do you think I could I be … Continue reading

Posted in Major Depression, Mindfulness, Self Esteem | Tagged , , , , | 1 Comment

Risk

March 7, 2012 Awake at 5:00 a.m., the “witching” hour, when I am most consumed with ruminating thoughts about my daughter, SA.  I do everything in my power to stay in the present moment, but I am unable to find … Continue reading

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